![]() ![]() We sat down after paying for our own salads individually for feminism. I’m not sure if it’s an aversion to risk or a lack of creativity. She doesn’t build her own, she just goes with the board. Byeeeeeee!ĭid I mention that I had my salad today with the lady? It’s important. An extra pair of 45s for my pause squats later today will burn the corn like that dude at the White House yesterday. Fortunately, complex carbs have simple solutions. Sadly, those were the carbs that broke the cameltoe out of my wet trunks, for I already add sweet potatoes and quinoa, and that third carb made me too full. On this day (today, 5/30/19), I deviated from my standard build-your-own order, adding the corn medley for an extra $0.50. Prison cafeterias have more warmth towards their customers. You ask one of the farm hands what happened. In their place are different animals: a broken-down donkey, a patchy owl, and some rabid, fucked-up ferrets grousing around in the hay. Gone are the adorably-oinking pigs missing are the bleating sheep silent are the tender cows. One day, the children spill into the barn and their beloved cast has been replaced. Money isn’t everything when you’ve got soil in your fingernails and a bucket of fiddleheads for dinner. ![]() Meanwhile, the children grow attached to the livestock, naming the animals and developing a fondness for agrarianism that you don’t mind. They have pigs and sheep and cows and a number of stray cats that come and go as they please, curling their tails disdainfully as though they possess secrets that elevate their status at the barn, even though they’re strays-the haughtiest orphans you’ll ever know. Imagine you’re a father of three, and you routinely bring the children to a local farm to interact with the animals. When they introduce a new ingredient to reflect the change in season, they must uproot a resident of last season. You see, they only have so many containers to harbor the salad fixings. They’ve added a corn medley to the menu for summer. The corn medley took the place of the asparagus/radish medley, which proves that all good things come at a price. If you think you’ve heard this story before, think again. There I was, ordering my salad at Sweetgreen. ![]()
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