![]() ![]() We can learn strategies to bring down the intensity of the situation and perhaps later re-approach it with composure. Therapy and self-examination make this process more effective.Įmotional regulation often involves diffusing heated situations by not immediately acting, practicing active listening techniques, and temporarily removing ourselves from certain situations. We can do that in a way that doesn’t overwhelm our systems either.Įmotional regulation, that ability to control how we react to strong emotions, can be learned and mastered through practice. As counterintuitive as it might seem, it’s better to feel through our emotions, to let them in and be okay with them, than to try to restrain them. The minute we try to repress or push our feelings away, the sooner we feel defeated. It takes a fair bit of self-discovery to uncover some of the underlying triggers behind emotional reactivity, but the benefits are obvious: less unnecessary emotional disturbance, a better relationship with your loved ones, and seeing your partner and reality more clearly. Once we recognize our own reactivity and figure out our triggers, we become aware of how prone we are to misread people. With active listening, we can get to the underlying issues with much less conflict. ![]() If that’s the case, go back to them on your own or with a therapist and explore further. Sometimes our emotions are very intense, yet we can’t seem to make sense of them or properly articulate them. Share your thoughts and emotions as matter-of-factly and calmly as possible. Once you have a solid grasp of your loved one’s position, check in with yourself and explore your feelings and thoughts. If you feel some emotions while your loved one is speaking, make a mental note of them but don’t let them explode.Īfter actively listening, ask some questions to understand your partner’s position fully. The goal is understand the message without letting our own biases, thoughts and emotions get in the way.Īctive listening does not mean shutting down your feelings though. When we listen actively, we are attempting to take in what the other is saying at face value. Slowing down and actively listening are essential to ward off emotional reactivity. How to reduce Emotional Reactivity Start with Active Listening ![]() Our emotions and defenses are driving our behaviors. At this point, there is no listening going on anymore. The emotional charge prevents us from seeing the situation for what it is. In that moment, our perceptions of the situation are altered. That overreaction is emotional reactivity. We are in a state of fight-or-flight and tend to react emotionally, that is, to overreact. When we feel stressed, angry, or hurt, we tend to react impulsively. ![]()
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